So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
