Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize