Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
