im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
