the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
