i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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