just come out here and I will go home with you...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
