omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
