STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Holy shit dude........stairs
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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