She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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