Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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