May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
