is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
