Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
