Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
