wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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