Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
