she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
