i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
