Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
