No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
