Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
birth control should be required to get into college
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize