why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
