my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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