I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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