quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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