forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
