this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
