I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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