Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
