I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
