I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
