dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize