I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You did what with his pubic hair?
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