Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Found the puke drawer
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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