If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
