so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
