Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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