So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
