Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
