oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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