I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
