Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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