How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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