I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
