he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
