His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
