He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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