Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm too high and old for this...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize