Whoa Z and x make the same sound
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
