go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
