i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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