Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
