Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
