You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
