Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
