I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
