well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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