Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
