So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
