And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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