do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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