This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
