People in love make me want to vomit
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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