Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
