He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize