Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
