Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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