Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
