Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
