You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
