She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
