apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
There are leaves in my underwear?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
