Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
