please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
