I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
