im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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