Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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